It
happens to all of us at some point in our lives: We're in a
relationship; we're happy; and suddenly all of our single
friends seem miserable. If you've been single while many of
your friends are sustaining intimate relationships, you know
how difficult this can be. You find yourself asking,
"What am I doing wrong?" and "Is there
something wrong with me?"
If you find yourself in the fortunate position of someone
who's in a relationship, offer this sage advice to your
friends who aren't:
1. Remind them that dating and being single has its perks.
The time between relationships can be a blast. Go out with
friends and have some fun; introduce yourself to people you
find attractive. Enjoy the freedom of being responsible for
only yourself. Being single means you have the privilege of
dating several different people, making new choices about who
you want to be in a relationship with and creating change in
your life. Of course, being in a relationship shouldn't hinder
your chances to create change in your life, but it does offer
certain limitations. When you're single, you have only your
own needs to consider— you have access to a freedom that
only comes with being single.
2. Remind them to use this time to strengthen
self-relationships.
This is your opportunity to look within yourself and question
what's really important to you. If you've been wanting to take
up jogging, yoga, voice lessons — whatever — being single
is a great time to do it and to reflect on how you want to
grow more as an individual. Ultimately, we all want a healthy,
intimate relationship that fosters this type of growth, but
when you have to consider someone else's schedule, plans and
interests, you can't luxuriate in this kind of
self-exploration. If you take the time to do that when you're
single, you can make better choices when selecting partners in
the future.
3. Finally, remind them that they have options.
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